Just A Small Town Girl

I've noticed something rather disturbing about myself lately. It would seem that the older I get, the less passionate I have become regarding my political affiliation. At this point, I don't even know if I am planning on voting, let alone regale you with a heated political debate on why my particular position is, indeed, the only just and correct position. I am hesitant to attribute this phenomenon to age or wisdom, because it seems that the older I become, the less I actually know. If I don't have children soon, merely to gain the benefit of going through the American school system again, I may become a blathering idiot by the time I'm thirty.

This apathetic attitude towards political institutions and the state of the American government is not a situation which can be solely attributed to myself. More and more these days, people are switching political discussions for popular culture topics. Water cooler discussions are more likely to center around the goings on of some drunk starlet, rather than the hard issues which can effect our state of livelihood as Americans.

Televisions are being changed from news programs to sitcoms. When the commander and chief controls the airways and interrupts our "must see" television viewing to relay a statement to the people he has sworn to serve and lead, we groan and reach for the remote. It has been said that more people are voting for American Idol than in the last presidential election.

It hasn't always been this way, however. When my father was a child and the President made a statement, the world payed attention. Homes which were fortunate enough to own a television sat silently and attentively to process and absorb what our Commander and Chief had to say. Those who didn't gathered around the radio in the same fashion. People cared back then. People were concerned, and it was considered an obligation as an American rather than an inconvenience as a consumer to educate yourself on the state of the union.

This was also before America became as industrialized as we are today.

C. Wright Mills, in 1956, predicted this detached attitude towards governmental affairs. He thought, and rightly so, that as America traded their blue collars for white, we would become less concerned with the goings-on of the political system. Once we stopped working with our hands to create something and began pushing paperwork in a bull-pen all day long, we would become more internally motivated, focusing more attention and energy on our weekend plans than we do on the state of our country. As a result, the powers that be would eventually gain a "free hand" in regards to decision making and political prowess. Eventually, America would be controlled by three parties: the head of the military, the head of the judicial system, and the CEO's of big business.

It seems only fitting, then, that politicians resort to any means necessary to pique the publics interest. Even if it means doing this:




Oh Hillary. Hillary, Hillary, Hillary.

I'm going to give you a small piece of advice: fire your campaign manager!

I can see where you're coming from, I really can. With the state of political aloofness as it is, it's easy to try and appeal to the American public in this manner. If you can't beat them, join them- I get it. You just did it wrong, Mrs. Clinton. Very, very wrong.

First of all, if you're anything like I am, you're still a little miffed about the way David Chase chose to end The Sopranos. As someone who spent seven years religiously watching The Sopranos, I felt that we deserved a more definite ending; not the piece of shit "cliffhanger" that it was. Cliffhangers are all well and good, as long as you plan on returning to the series in order to tell us what the fuck just happened! Otherwise, you're just being mean and disrespectful to the wishes of the people that made your show the enormous success that it was. If I wanted the ending to be left up to my interpretation, I would have written my own damn series. Reminding the public of the bitter taste left in our mouths isn't going to foster your popularity any, it's just going to piss us all off.

Secondly, Hillary (can I call you Hillary?), you're not presenting yourself in the most favorable light here. With many of the American public already considering you a man-hating "feminazi,"
emasculating your husband for your own political and popular gain seems rather redundant. You already pissed a lot of people off back in 1992, when you made that comment on CBS's 60 Minutes "I'm not sitting here as some little woman, standing by my man like Tammy Wynett."

Oh, Hillary. You're from Arkansas. Didn't you know not to diss country music in Arkansas? Do you think the American public has forgotten this?

I would have thought you learned your lesson back in '92; but no, obviously not. In this commercial, we get to see you reduce your husband to nothing more than a "little woman," clutching at his apron strings while he waits for you to tell him what he is and is not allowed to eat. And, to make matters worse, when you do pass your judgement down that he is only allowed to consume carrot sticks, we see Bill succumb to his fate and pout like a small child.

Did it somehow escape your memory that this man was the fucking President of the United States? Did you forget that for eight years he led this country into one of economic abundance and formulated a plan to balance the national deficit? Say what you will about his shaky morals and lude conduct, I felt safer with him in office, especially compared with the shit storm that has been the Bush administration. Hell, I tend to get slightly choked up when I see old newscasts from when he was in office. So why, Miz Clinton, did you choose to alienate Bill's loyal followers so early on your campaign trail? That tactic didn't exactly work out to well for Gore, now did it?

I want to like you, Mrs. Clinton. I really, really do. You're just making it very difficult on me.

What you should have done, in my humble opinion, would have been to regale the American public with images of you and Bill early on in his stay in office, slowly moving through time to show yourself in the New York Senate, all the while playing your campaign song in the background and ending it with your mission statement. That way, the warm fuzzy feeling generated by those happy times between 1992 and 2000 would carry over into your political career, and would embed themselves into your campaign song. This would result in triggering these feelings whenever we heard your song again. As an added bonus, you would also portray yourself as a loyal wife, strong woman, and a powerful adversary. Unfortunately, you chose to reinforce the idea that, deep down, you wish you had a penis.

Don't stop believing, Mrs. Clinton. Just please start campaigning...